There is nothing to gain in holding on to regrets.
The past is the past.
The past cannot change, but your interpretation of the past can.
How you view your actions, successes, challenges, failures…
… all play a part in who you are today.
If you hold on to regrets, holding on to exactly who you once were, holding on to the feelings of the old you…
…you will not move forward.
There are no “shoulds” in this world. There is only reality. What happened is real.
Your interpretation of what unfolded – when compared to a “should” – creates suffering.
There are no shoulds.
There are only realities.
What happened happened.
And your life unfolded for a reason. A purpose. A perfect purpose. To allow you to be here.
Right here, right now.
There is no better place to be. You are where you are for a purpose.
Embrace it. Love it. Bathe in your perfect circumstance.
Holding on to feelings of guilt and shame will only hold you back from your destiny, from serving a greater purpose.
Your challenges, your failures, serve you in allowing you to learn, to advance, to expand.
Holding on to guilt and shame serves no one, nothing.
Holding on to guilt and shame only serves to limit our ability to realize freedom, to realize the limitless possibilities that this amazing life, this amazing opportunity presents.
Guilt and shame are enemies of a greater future self.
Oftentimes we use the past as a weapon against others. We refuse to release others from their past, holding failures, decisions, and conflict over their heads.
We use guilt and shame to attack their true nature. To prevent their freedom and expansion.
To limit their potential.
Oftentimes, we do the same thing to ourselves. We refuse to let the past go, and we use it as a weapon against ourselves. We hold ourselves captive, hostage. We want to be free, but we refuse to allow ourselves to be free.
I have also found, from direct experience, that when we are suffering as a result of not allowing ourselves to be free – we want to hold others hostage as well.
We use guilt and shame as a weapon against others.
We want them to suffer as we suffer.
But I have found that others cannot hold us hostage, captive, in a state of guilt and shame if we choose freedom.
We control our own freedom.
We are the makers of our decisions, physically and emotionally.
When we finally choose to release ourselves, guilt and shame are a dull weapon.
Guilt and shame cannot penetrate armor.
But only if we choose to put on the armor. We choose to live today, not by our “shoulds”.
We only live for our true nature. A perfect realization of our purpose – not a realization of who we once were.
We are not defined or confined by our past.
We can choose to be released.
We can choose freedom.
And if others choose to attack that freedom…
…if they choose to hold you back, and define you by your past…
…they are holding themselves, hostage. And they are treating you the way they are treating themselves.
They want to release but refuse freedom. They are causing their own pain.
But you are the chooser or your freedom. You are fully in charge of your own destiny.
Choose freedom, and with that freedom comes acceptance and peace.
Acceptance and peace are enemies of guilt and shame.
Guilt and shame cannot penetrate intentional peace.
And peace is yours to choose. You are the only one that can hold yourself hostage.
You are the only one that prevents your freedom.
Today, make that choice. Let go of your past. Let go of the pain your past represents.
Embrace today. Embrace who you have become.
Embrace who you can become.
The pains of the past hold no chains.
Free from attacks, free from the past, free from guilt and shame.
And be on the lookout for those who attack using guilt and shame.
Hurt people hurt people.
Love them, for they are hurt, and they need it the most.
A true, limitless, High-Performance Life can only be attained with no chains attached, free to choose the future.
Looking to the future instead of the past.
And choosing to be free today is the only way.
Only you can choose.
This post was previously published on Mike Kitko and is republished here with permission from the author.
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Photo credit: Shutterstock