It has been some time since you have caught your husband gazing at you lovingly while you’re busy playing house. You miss those spontaneous afternoon breaks or those unplanned dinner dates. While he has been busy at the office, you have been busy raising your child and making your house a home. There is hardly any time for conversation, and when that does occur it is restrained to chore-related topics. Despite living under the same roof, you feel you have become distant as a couple.
During such stressful times, having another kid may seem like an easy solution to rekindle the marriage. Instead of blindly following your peers’ or elders’ suggestion, you should ask yourself and your partner, if having another baby is indeed the right solution for you? Follow these simple steps to arrive at a conclusion that applies to your specific circumstances.
1. Ask Your Partner
Having a baby can change a couple’s life drastically. Since both of you will be equally responsible for the newborn, the decision of having another baby should also be mutual. Both of you should be emotionally and financially prepared to sustain a healthy environment for a baby. Communicate with your partner. It would be counter-productive to your relationship if your partner is not ready for another baby.
2. Remember Your Partner’s Involvement
I am sure you love being a mother. Yet, take off those rose-colored glasses and remember the constant effort you had to put in with your first-born. How helpful was your partner during the first instance of parenthood? Was he more responsive when you communicated your problems with him? Do you think he showed sufficient levels of involvement and commitment towards nurturing your firstborn?
Communicate honestly and thoroughly with each other. Listen to each other’s concerns even if you think there is no immediate solution to it. Talk through your anxieties and insecurities before you decide to bring a new member to your family.
4. Are You Healthy Enough?
Motherhood can be tedious, not only emotionally, but also physically. Be sure that you are healthy enough to provide constant care for a growing baby. Practice self-care, both psychologically and physiologically. A healthy body and a calm mind will help you provide your newborn with a nurturing environment.
5. Couple Care
Don’t forget the reason why you decided to have another baby in the first place. Avoid making your interactions all about the calendar. Be spontaneous, and surprise each other with a pleasant dinner or a late-night walk. Your relationship with each other is a priority if you want to bring a baby in this world together.
6. A Change In Perspective
Having a baby together again will reveal sides of your partner’s personality you have almost forgotten. You will get to see the nurturing and loving side of your spouse. This change in roles and perspective can re-ignite old flames, resulting in you and your partner falling in love all over again. Plus, bringing up a baby together increases emotional intimacy in a couple as both of them will be confronting similar kinds of experiences.
7. Share Your Load
Always remember, bringing a baby into this world as a couple is all about teamwork. Share the load with your significant other. Organize a time-table. Don’t forget to include fun activities along with chores like diaper-change, or night time feeding sessions. Additionally, include sufficient “couple time” so the spark in the relationship never gets extinguished.
Understand the gravity of being responsible for bringing a human being in this world. It is not a decision that should be taken lightly. Follow the steps and introspect to decide if indeed having another child will save your marriage. Include your spouse in your decision-making. You might be lucky, and find out that the problem all along was ineffective communication.
If these steps helped you out in making a decision, share your experience with us in the comments below.