The Feminine in Men


For a long time, until I woke up to it, I was operating as a woman in my masculine.

What I mean by that was that I was operating in a masculine-dominant energy most of the time. I was accomplished, held multiple degrees and a leadership position, I was the boss, I was running my household, I belittled my then-husband, I handled the finances for my family, and I parented. I was operating in a driving, striving orientation. I would say it was an unconscious masculine domination.

When I woke up to my own femininity, and began an exploration of what that meant, I truly didn’t know at first. It was like a faint voice was calling me to remind me. I had to walk toward it.

I imagine that this awakening mirrors that of many men. You realize that you’ve been operating in a default, and that default is a wounded masculinity (predominant in a male-oriented society), and then you choose to walk toward your masculinity.

Femininity is calling many women forward.
Masculinity is calling many men forward.
This is beautiful, in my judgement.

But then, there’s another step.

I had to circle back around, consciously, to my own inner masculinity after I had spent so long attempting to embody my femininity. I had to look at how I was a tyrant, how I was dominating, and how I wanted to control. I had to look at how my own command of my finances and business were weak and wounded. And I had to embody my own sacred masculinity as well.

Men, there is a sacred feminine inside of you that you must also go back to, for your full integration. As I walk forward, I think that this is the order of things, most often, as best I can tell. A man who has “done his work” in men’s circles then has another step; to embody his sacred feminine.

What does this look like? How do you explore it? I’d love to hear what you’ve done about this already, or what your curiosities are.

Many men who do men’s work still are unsure how to relate to women, and how to relate to the divine feminine in themselves. I hope you’ll reach out if this resonates, because I’ve helped many men bridge this gap.

Self-reflection is important and sacred work. Thank you for doing it. It benefits the whole.

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