You are perfect the way you are, but you can always be better….
We live in a world where everything is so instant. Everything EXCEPT the things that truly matter.
There is a (perceived) pressure from every direction telling you that you need to act or be a certain way. This need to fit in or follow the “right” path is everywhere.
We are all overwhelmed and stressed. Yet to reflect on the last couple hundred years, in comparison we really have it pretty good – externally at least…
Internally we have a constant battle in our head because we have complete uncertainty in our identity and where our focus SHOULD be.
Stemming from excessive exposure to this ideal life but also never really being challenged like past generations: we have participation awards and 13th place accolades…
Ultimately discovering who we are, through necessity, we need to be challenged. With the level of social bubble wrap in our early years, we are robbed of this.
With so much being filtered and the real truths unknown, it’s easy to see why more people would prefer to live it through their phone rather than face reality… or worse – their own thoughts.
The all-consuming objective of the day is to simply “look” good from the outside even if you are dying inside.
We pay for the next round of drinks even though we’re scrambling to pay rent.
We go through spouts of social media posts or training blocks to show how hardcore we are or while life is good.
We automatically say we are doing great even if the struggle is really taking its toll.
If you focus so much on being “perceived’ to have your shit together rather than taking the time to actually face what’s hurting you, you will be miserable.
Do it for you.
Because once you do, you might just slow down enough to put the necessary steps in place to look and feel great tomorrow rather than just looking like you are “crushing it” for your fans today.
Note: If you don’t take time out of your day to work on you, you are of no use to anyone else – i.e. you will lack connection, you will lack confidence and you will ultimately lack that little kid FIRE inside of you.
Step back, assess what you actually want out of life. Success is broad AF, what does this actually mean for you? A 10 am weekday start? (Time freedom) Footy with the lads on Tuesdays (Social connection), not getting triggered by your partner so you can connect and a deeper level? (Love)
Once you KNOW what it is, then you can take INTENTIONAL action towards a clear goal that really fuels the fire that life kicked out of you when shit got real.
This dives into a whole other topic of social conditioning but when it comes to living your best life, we can simplify this into 4 pillars. Health, wealth, social, fulfillment.
Now if one of these pillars is down, you WILL feel it in all areas. If you focus on just getting big and things muscle will solve your problems, you will end up like every other lonely bodybuilder seeking validation from his size.
If you simply focus on the money you get to the point that you’re paying for people to simply be around you and feel wanted.
You get the idea.
However, I whole heartily believe that this whole reflection stems from an ability to hold a higher standard of yourself and what you ultimately want out of your life.
What’s the best way to see this?
YOUR BODY IS A REFLECTION OF YOUR STANDARDS.
There is beauty and cruelty in that… because you can’t hide it and you can’t fake it.
So, if you feel like you’re not where you want to be. You feel unmotivated and not where you “expected” to be. First reflect on what you actually want, how you want to feel in your own skin.
Then understand that if you can’t hold this standard of yourself to a high level, then I almost guarantee other areas of your life will be lacking.
So if you want to step up, be smart in how you do this so it actually makes a positive difference in your life and you are able to see this drive and confidence shine into other areas of your life – invest the time to learn how to do it properly.
If your mental and physical health has been taking the back seat, I guarantee this has been letting you down in all other areas. Build back up this pillar and it will make some massive and sometimes unexpected shifts in your life.
I am going to leave you with one last thought: How you approach one challenge, is how you approach them all. Use that attention to detail but if it’s very easy to do and it’s also very easy not to do. It’s these little things every day that makes up your life – how you treat your family, how you approach work and how you treat yourself.
Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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Photo courtesy iStock
This post previously published on Spotterinsider and is republished with the permission of the author.