I’m Engaged But Having Doubts. Ask Allana

Coach Allana Pratt was asked: “I’m engaged but I am seriously having my doubts. I love him but I just don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. It’s weird, because I miss him when he’s gone; but, when I have to deal with him – Argh! Help!”

You honesty cracks me up. Here’s a deep question, how much do you want to be married just because you don’t like being alone? Or you don’t like everyone saying “Why aren’t you married yet?” How much of that choice is resistance? Not a real desire from your heart. Be with that question – journal about that question.

How much of what he does that annoys you is you wanting to be in control, of him? In control of life? In control of yourself? In control of a future you can’t control. Because it’s not kind to be controlling. And yet, it could be that who he is is just fundamentally annoying to you. You just may not be a match. But it could be that if you were able to rest into trust on the inside more than you currently are, then the little things he does may not be such a big deal. You can even use your temptress humor to allure him to make a different choice.

Next question, how much of the doubts in your mind are you wanting to know the outcome? Is this marriage going to last forever? “How am I going to be with him for the rest of my life?” Again, we can’t control the outcome. We can’t even control this moment. We are basically out of control. We are here to basically be used – in us, as us, through us – spirit coming through. Yes, we get to ask questions. Yes, we get to take actions but there is a whole other dance we are doing with the universe that we do not have control of. So, how much of those are doubts are you just trying to know an outcome that you can’t know. What if we could just let that go and drop into your truth, your heart, your body, your pelvis, your knowing and listen from there.

How much of your doubts are actually your intuition talking to you. That he’s not the one. Or that it’s not the time. Are these really doubts or is it your intuition and instincts speaking to you but you don’t want to listen because you are already engaged, then what do you do?

A version of this post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

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