How to Keep Momentum With Someone You’re Talking to Long-Distance (Matthew Hussey)

If you feel like you had a connection with someone, but now you’re worried you’re becoming invisible to him, the advice in today’s video is for you.

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Maybe you went into the quarantine with a love interest already who is now “long-distance.”

Or maybe you just met someone online during isolation.

Either way, my guess is you want it to actually go somewhere and not fizzle out during this time while you can’t see each other.

So how do you keep the momentum going? Today’s brand spanking new video (woohoo) shows you exactly that, with something blindingly obvious that 99% of people are not using to their advantage.

If you feel like you had a connection with someone, but now you’re worried you’re becoming invisible to him, the advice in today’s video is for you.

And if you just met, this will make you stand out from anyone else he may be talking to. Once you try this, your voice will be a burst of color in a sea of gray interactions. And to help illustrate my point, I’ve taken us back to the 1920s…

Stay strong, friend.

Transcript provided by YouTube:

00:00
[Music]
00:01
[Applause]
00:02
[Music]
01:01
dating today is making people invisible
01:03
people meet online or through an app
01:05
they exchange messages through an app
01:07
they then graduate to exchanging phone
01:10
numbers they begin texting and most
01:12
people never graduate from that point
01:15
and if you think about it all of these
01:18
exchanges are all happening on the
01:20
screen through texts this is making
01:23
people invisible because it’s really
01:25
hard to compete with everybody else when
01:27
everyone’s doing the same thing how do
01:29
you stand out in a world like that I
01:32
think there is a resource that is so
01:34
underutilized it is ridiculous that
01:37
would enable you to stand out to truly
01:40
make a connection and to make yourself
01:42
much harder to ignore the voice note
01:46
imagine that someone says your message
01:48
that says how are you and you write back
01:50
I’m good I just left the movies with my
01:52
friends what you up to let’s find this
01:55
kind of message that most people send
01:57
it’s not that funny entertaining it
01:59
doesn’t matter even if it was because at
02:01
the end of the day it’s still just a
02:03
text message someone doesn’t really feel
02:05
like they’re getting to know us they’re
02:06
getting to know the text version of us
02:08
but if someone sent us a message that
02:10
said how are you and instead of sending
02:12
a text message you literally picked up
02:13
the phone hit the voice note button and
02:16
said hey it’s good to hear from you I’m
02:18
good
02:19
I just left the movies with my friends
02:20
we saw that movie the mr. Rogers movie
02:23
it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood
02:24
I don’t know if you’ve seen it but well
02:27
I may have cried a little bit or a lot
02:31
but I’m on my way home now what are you
02:33
up to how’s your night in that moment
02:35
think about how much I’ve done I want
02:37
you to think about voice notes in three
02:39
different benefit categories number one
02:42
it’s different it’s different everyone
02:45
else is texting in a sea of grey text
02:47
messages your voice represents color it
02:50
leaps off the screen and into someone’s
02:52
ear you’re literally attacking a
02:54
different sense than everybody else
03:04
voice
03:07
on the telephone secondly you can say a
03:12
lot more think about how much more
03:14
nuance how much more context how much
03:16
more of myself I was able to show in
03:18
that twenty seconds which is probably
03:21
shorter than it takes most people to
03:22
write a text message and number three we
03:25
get across our humanity a real micro
03:29
personality moments those moments where
03:31
we have a little nervous laugh where we
03:33
haven’t slightly awkward silence or an
03:35
unknown are where we’re trying to figure
03:37
out what to say next or a moment where
03:39
we say that movie made me cry a little
03:41
bit or a lot we’re showing ourselves our
03:44
humanity and I don’t care how great your
03:46
writing is in a short text message that
03:48
is impossible to get across I’m not
03:51
saying you should leave a voice message
03:52
in response to everything someone sends
03:54
you that would be annoying and it would
03:56
miss the point the point is the contrast
03:58
once in a while instead of sending a
04:00
message send a voice note let them get a
04:03
taste of who you really are and what you
04:05
really sound like because today
04:08
connection is the game everybody has
04:12
options everybody can get online and
04:14
speak to another ten people but when you
04:16
can actually connect with someone you’re
04:19
using the greatest asset you have and
04:21
that is you people on a screen are
04:23
replaceable but the one thing someone
04:25
cannot replace is you but the asset that
04:28
is you will never come across if you’re
04:31
not willing to make yourself visible or
04:33
audible in three dimensions instead of
04:36
what everyone else is doing which is
04:38
texting in two dimensions as it just me
04:43
or do we look fantastic
04:46
[Music]
04:58
you

This post was previously published on YouTube.

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Photo credit: Screenshot from video