One thing that you may not realize when you are marrying someone is that you are marrying into their whole family. Think his parents, siblings, close relatives, and friends. They are going to be there to celebrate with you on all occasions of life, big and small. It can be jarring to think that they are a part of your new extended family. You may not get along with every one of them, and that’s fine. But the one person you do have to get along with is your sister-in-law. She is closest to your in-laws and your husband, making her an important member of the family.
Now there could be several reasons that you two don’t hit it off instantly. Maybe she did something to sabotage your relationship with your partner. Or it could be simply because you don’t get a good vibe from her. But whatever the reason may be, getting along with your sister-in-law is both crucial and essential for your own relationship with your husband as well as the in-laws. Bonus: it will make family events a lot or easier and dare we say, fun?
Here are some tips to make it work with your difficult sister-in-law:
1. Find Common Interests
It can be extremely hard to make small talk with a person you are not very find of. However, the best way to get started is by figuring out what you two have in common. It could be anything. Your love for food or travel, your favorite brand of wine, or a Tv series that you both love. That ought to get your conservation going for a while. Make sure to steer clear of heavy discussions such as politics and feminism. For now, stick to lighter stuff that will make conversations a bit easier without having to deal with awkward pauses.
2. Ask A Lot Of Questions
The best way to understand a person or simply make a conversation is by asking a ton of questions. Not in the annoying way, of course. Instead of talking about yourself which most people generally tend to do, you can start thinking of questions you can ask your sister-in-law the next time you see her. To give you an idea, if she’s a working mom, you can ask her how she balances her work and family life. With a few questions, you will be able to uncover the person she really is and even find some common interests along the way.
3. Pick And Choose Your Battles Wisely
It’s natural to have some disagreements during the start of any relationship. You might even feel the urge to engage in conflicts or arguments. But know that it is okay to let it go every once in a while. You don’t have to always be right or prove your point. By taking the high road, you are going to save yourself a lot of trouble. But if you do feel the need to vent, that’s what real friends are for.
4. Find A Buffer
We hope it doesn’t come to this but it’s best to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. It can be possible that despite all the efforts from your side, your sister-in-law simply doesn’t like you. Don’t fret it. You don’t have to go out of your way to please someone. Simply look for another family member who is going to be a good friend. Someone to make family gatherings and occasions a little less boring. And who knows, you two might hit it off really well and become besties.
Your sister-in-law is one person you simply can’t ignore or cut out of your life. So make an honest effort to build a cordial relationship with them. And if it doesn’t work out so be it, you always have your partner by your side.