While it is normal for the bride and groom to lock horns with their in-laws every once in a while, it is important to maintain a healthy balance. It’s natural for an adjustment struggle to arise when you are thrown into a completely new surrounding. And while it may feel like your in-laws aren’t very fond of you, it might all be in your head. However, it is also possible they may have their concerns and apprehensions about you and your relationship with their child.
If you feel there is friction brewing between you and your in-laws, there are things you can do to address this issue and move along as a happy family. Whether you feel that your in-laws actually hate you or if it is all up in your head, here are some steps you can take to get along with them.
Talk To Your Partner
Since you and your spouse are in this together, it is best to start by talking to them first. Start by explaining why you think they don’t like you. Make sure not to lose your cool or offend your spouse in any way. Talking about their parents can be a sensitive topic and you don’t want them to think like you are complaining. So articulate your feelings in a calm manner without insulting your in-laws. It is important to help your spouse understand why you might be feeling the way you do.
Your significant other might be able to give you some helpful advice since they are closest to both you and your in-laws. And they can also provide some insight on how to deal with such a situation from their personal experience.
Apologize, Forgive, And Forget
If you ever get into a tense situation with your in-laws, try to be the bigger person. Rather than getting into an ugly spat and expressing all your emotions, you can simply choose to apologize for whatever you might have done in building up this tension.
And if you choose to talk about your feelings, do so in a respectful manner and don’t let your emotions get the better of you. You don’t want to end up saying something that you might regret later. Remember, words are mightier than the sword. Again, apologize. We know apologizing can be hard especially if you feel like you have done nothing wrong.
The next step is to forgive your in-laws. This part can be quite tough but it will lift a weight off your shoulders and help you move on. Try to erase those hurtful memories from your mind and focus on building new positive ones. Your relationship will evolve for the better and you would be grateful for it.
Letting go of all the negative memories can be hard if you have been holding onto it for a long time. It’s hard to forget how someone made you feel especially when the sentiments are too strong. But the more you hold on to those feelings, the angrier you become. It may even affect your marriage and leave you feeling stressed. So try your best to let go.
Try To Understand Their Expectations Of You
They might be having certain expectations from you which you may not be fulfilling. Though you are not bound to meet every need of theirs, it wouldn’t hurt to try if it is reasonable. If you are completely clueless, sit them down and have an honest discussion. Or ask your partner if they have gotten any hints. Once you make an honest effort to honor their feelings and meet their needs, your relationship with your in-laws will improve for the better.
Relationships, whether it is with your spouse or your in-laws takes work. Nobody told you it was going to be easy. But make sure they honor and respect your feelings as well. Remember, relationships are a two-way street.