Do You Feel Like a Burden on Others?

Self-care is essential, especially when it comes to maintaining mental health. So why is it so hard, leaving us feeling like a burden on others?

Self-care is essential, especially when it comes to maintaining mental health. So why is it so hard, leaving us feeling like a burden on others?

What Can We Do About It?

Self-care and selfish are not the same. Someone selfish only thinks of themselves. A selfish person puts themselves before others. They are so lost in their ego, that others fade into the background.

A person practicing self-care is not selfish. Someone practicing self-care often thinks of others but needs a bit more time to recharge. Having time to yourself is not a crime, and we shouldn’t be made to feel like it is.

Taking time for ourselves is crucial, but before we begin, we have to change our mindset. We have to move out of the role of victim and into the position of self-value. We have to value our health, make it a priority indeed, and we can’t do that when we feel like a victim.

Why Do We Feel Like a Burden?

When we relate as a victim, we feel like a burden on others. Playing the role of the victim, we often believe that our self-worth is non-existent. If we don’t value our worth than we find it difficult to reach out and ask for help.

Playing the role of the victim means that we feel like we’re being judged by others too. Will others think I’m lazy or that I don’t work hard enough? A common phrase thrown around is ”pick yourself up by the bootstraps.”

While yes this is true, we do need to do the work ourself. We can’t do it alone. Going the route of the lone wolf is not a great idea. When we begin to believe in our self-worth, we not only find that others are available to help but help arrives in ways we couldn’t even imagine.

How To Maintain Self-Care

Before I share ideas, we can maintain self-care, just a quick wrap up from the thoughts above. First, know that self-care is not the same as being selfish. Second, stop playing the victim and start believing in your self-worth. Lastly, remember that you must take responsibility for your health but that you don’t have to do it alone.

Once you believe in your heart that you’re worth the effort and time, here are three suggestions to help you maintain your self-care practice.

  1. Contemplate why your self-worth is not selfish by sitting in meditation or journaling. We do what our mind wants us to do. Once we believe we’re worth it, we’ll begin taking care of ourselves.
  2. Get self-care time in your calendar. Part of taking responsibility for your health is scheduling the time to do so. Schedule it; now you have to make it happen!
  3. Practicing using tiny habits. Most often, we can’t make miraculous changes overnight, but what we can do is show up today and make a decision to change. Trying to tackle obstacles in one fell swoop can leave us feeling overwhelmed and ultimately give up on self-care. So relax and break down the barriers into small steps. 

This post was previously published on Charles Minguez and is republished here with permission from the author.

◊♦◊

If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.


Photo credit: iStock