Every day, a new post appears on Reddit’s Am I the Asshole thread where the answer is abundantly clear: Yes. This time, it was user Birthdaysmurfdays, who came to Reddit asking, “AITA for refusing to buy my daughter a donut because she’s overweight?”
In the post, Birthdaysmurfdays said he’s been concerned about his daughter’s weight for a long time. “None of it has been helped by my also-overweight, enabling wife,” he said.
Out of concern, he took his daughter on a hike, which is all well and good…except for the fact that the hike took place in the August heat, on her 19th birthday. “She complained about it literally the entire time,” he said. “She didn’t like that it was hot, she didn’t like the incline, she didn’t like the mosquitoes.” Same.
Because it was her birthday, and she’d just endured a trek through the state forest at the height of summer, his daughter wanted to treat herself a little. “While we were driving back home, she knew that we would be driving past a Dunkin’ Donuts,” her dad said. “She wanted me to stop so she could get herself a ‘birthday donut.’”
“I said no.”
After he shut down his daughter’s request, she was understandably upset. “[She said] she just wanted a donut and she’d just done this long hike to please me on her birthday,” Birthdaysmurfdays said. “I argued calmly that she didn’t want to undo all the work of the hike by getting a donut.”
Side note: Has there ever been a calm argument between a teenage daughter and her father about food?
For context, Birthdaysmurfdays wrote his daughter is 5’4 and 155 pounds, which he admitted is not “drastically overweight.”
“She said the donut she wanted is 350 calories (which I doubt is true) and would fit into her day,” her dad said. “I pointed out she’d probably be eating cake later. We didn’t stop, and she sulked about it on the whole ride back. When we got home, she told her mother, who of course sided with her and went on a rant about how our daughter’s birthday shouldn’t be a time I’m preaching healthy eating.”
“I just learned about this subreddit and thought this would be a good place to ask about a point of contention in the family,” he said. “Am I really the asshole for not wanting to stop and get her a fatty donut after a nice hike?”
Most Redditors were quick to tell him that denying his daughter a sweet on her birthday after forcing her to partake in an activity she hates did in fact make him the asshole.
Sometimes all you need is a little birthday pick-me-up.
Others pointed out hiking in August is unpleasant no matter a person’s size.
And many users were quick to say that his daughter’s weight isn’t very high, and that restricting her will do more harm than good.
The numbers on the scale don’t always matter.
She’s definitely old enough to make her own choices about food.
This user summed up our feelings perfectly.
We hope this father thinks twice before talking about food with his daughter and his wife.