A Love Letter to the Baby We Lost

Dear Gabriel,

Your mother and I couldn’t wait to meet you. We loved you from the moment we knew about you.

Gabriel Hutchinson. Your name is so beautiful.

We sang to you and played you guitar and piano, we whispered to you, “I love you.” We giggled about how you were going to have a little tiny butt and a big head, just like dad. We smiled thinking about your beautiful eyes from mom. We dreamed about showing you the world and taking you on adventures.

My dad used to come into my bedroom and tell me stories and sing me to sleep. I couldn’t wait to do the same with you.

I never got to tell you the story of how mom and dad met, so I’ll tell you now. Your mom had an open bedroom in her apartment and was looking for a roommate. I came to look at the room, and when she opened the door, I saw the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes upon. I said we should be roommates, but mom knew better. I moved into a place across from her, and over time, learned her heart and soul are just as beautiful as the rest of her.

We saw you at 8-weeks and your heartbeat was so vivid and strong. We prayed you would have a beautiful heart and soul, to love people and to be a shining light in a world badly in need of it.

At 12-weeks you’d already gone to heaven. Both of our hearts ache now, but I know you’re smiling down on us now. Your mom lost her younger brother a few years ago, and it makes me happy knowing he’s taking care of you now.

Do they use nicknames up in heaven? If they do, I hope your nickname is Hutch, just like dads. Or Baby Hutch.

Your life matters, and I want you to know you are loved. Your mother and I will never forget you. We’ll always have you in our hearts Gabriel, for the rest of our lives. And someday, we’ll get to meet you in person.

Until I get to tell you in person, I’ll say it here. I love you Gabriel.

Love Always,

Mom and Dad

Previously published on Medium.com.

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