They were ‘your lucky charm,’‘ your life,’ and ‘your everything.’But you broke up, and that love has faded. You feel like your life has ended, and you’re having a tough time being yourself.
That is not the most pleasant experience in the world, but you have to accept the bitter truth; you need to move on, come what may. You have to get over that person you loved because there’s a beautiful life waiting ahead for you, and you have to explore it, even if it wasn’t what you initially planned.
In this MomJunction post, we give you tips on how to get over someone you love, because we know it is not always easy to move on.
It Is Painful To Lose Someone You Love
Losing someone you love and accepting that your relationship has ended is not easy. The feeling is so strong that it cannot be expressed in words. You are angry, you are sad, and you feel all alone. Your dreams are shattered, and you don’t know what to do with your life.
Sometimes, you feel it is not real. You try talking to them and do everything possible to get them back. You might even end up doing things that may not be good for you, such as drinking, locking yourself in a room, crying all day and night, not talking to anyone, and whatnot.
Heartbreak can make you suffer a lot, but the truth is, you can get over this pain. And to make that easier for you, we have a few tips on how to forget someone you love.
How To Get Over Someone You Love?
It is not that easy, but of course, not impossible. You may have a happy life after your breakup or even rebuild your life after divorce. And here is how you can do that.
1. Accept the reality
Acceptance. This is the first thing to do to help yourself. Accept that the person is gone, and your relationship has come to an end. Your dreams with that person and your love story are now a thing of the past. Once you understand this, the journey ahead towards a new chapter of your life would be less difficult.
It is not easy to forget, but it is essential to move ahead and not build your future based on your past.
2. Don’t blame anyone
Blaming yourself, your partner, or someone or something else for what went wrong will not help you in any way. Playing the blame game could leave you with a grudge for a lifetime. You will always have that negative emotion about your relationship, and that won’t help you forget that person or live in peace.
Even if someone else is to blame, holding on to such thoughts and feelings will hold you back. To be able to move on, you should let those negative feelings go.
3. Release your emotions
You are grief-stricken when you realize the person you love has moved away from you. And if you don’t let out the grief, it can suffocate you. You might want to scream, cry out loud, and release the pain from your mind and body. Vent out and deal with your emotions to be able to move on.
Cry out as much as you can, scream into your pillow, hit the gym, run, and do anything that helps you to release your emotions and the stress that they bring. When you are not emotional anymore, you may be able to focus on your present and future without looking back.
4. Cut the connections with your partner
You might still be in love, but the fact is that your relationship has come to an end. Keeping your hopes up or going back to your partner may do no good. One of the smartest ways to get over the person you love is to cut every connection there is between you and them. Don’t even try to know what they are up to in life.
To break all connections means no messages, no calls, no emails, and no following them anywhere. You can unfollow or block them on social media and do not have to respond even if they initiate a conversation. When opening the previous chapters of the book is fruitless, then it is best to look forward to the future.
5. Be forgiving
‘When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.’ – Nelson Mandela
This could be the hardest of all, but it is a good way to find peace and to get over someone you love. Whether it was your fault or your partner’s, you should forgive to move on. Now that the relationship has come to an end keeping hard feelings in the heart would trouble you even more. To move forward, you should let go of things that are holding you back. And that could happen when you start forgiving.
6. Talk to your loved ones
You could talk to your best friend or your family, whether it is your parents or siblings. Choose a person who knows you, your partner, and your relationship. Pick one who does not judge your actions and pour your heart out to them. Be honest about how you feel to vent out and get an objective take on the relationship.
Your loved one can also help you look at the positive side of what happened and suggest ways to forget your partner. Talking about your thoughts with someone can also be therapeutic.
7. Focus on yourself
Your partner was always on your mind when you were in a relationship, and you always thought about their likes, dislikes, and favorites. Now when your relationship has ended, it is time to think about yourself positively. Do for yourself what you have always postponed for making your partner happy.
Travel, learn something new, dress up, shop for yourself, and do anything that you always wanted to do. This helps shift the focus to you from the person you loved and enables you to move on from them. Find joy within you and not in others to help yourself get over someone.
Traveling can be de-stressing in many ways. It can change your outlook on life. Being in a new place, surrounded by new people, and things that are not connected to your partner can help you get over them sooner.
Also, engaging in outdoor activities could be a great way to enjoy doing things on your own and becoming independent in life. When you focus on loving yourself more, getting over someone else becomes possible.
9. Spend time with your friends or family
Avoid staying alone as that could make you think more about your ex. Surround yourself with people who love you and spend time with friends or family members in your spare time. This will keep you distracted from the sorrows and heartbreak.
You might get a new perspective on life by spending time with positive people. You might eventually realize that there is so much to do in life, rather than feeling sad about the breakup. And most importantly, it is easier to be yourself when you are with close family or friends.
10. Come out of your comfort zone
‘Life always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone.’ – Shannon L. Alder
You have created a comfort zone for yourself. And now that your partner has gone, you are stuck in it all by yourself. It might be easy to continue in there, but that won’t help you get over the one you love. Take that first step to trying something new, something that you’ve been uncomfortable doing and discover the new you.
Trying new things could also boost your confidence and make it easier for you to come out of the breakup and depression that you are going through. Try doing something that you have never thought you would do or attempt in life. Discover yourself all over again.
11. Go for therapy
If you were deeply in love and have difficulty falling out of love and getting over your partner, then seek professional help to deal with a breakup. You don’t have to feel awkward or ashamed about going to therapy.
It’s normal to be anxious, depressed, and even lost when your relationship has failed, or you lose the person you love. And to help yourself, it is okay to talk to someone who can give you an objective perspective and help you come out of the muddle.
12. Give time
Leo Tolstoy had said, ‘The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.’
Sometimes, you have to sit back and wait. When you’ve had strong feelings for someone, getting over them won’t be easy and will take time. You can’t stop loving them overnight. Give yourself time; it could be a couple of months or several months or sometimes even longer. Have patience, and one day, you will forget, forgive, and start living a new life without any grudges or hiccups. Everything can become normal, and you will leave your past behind.
13. Open up to new possibilities
Losing someone you love is heartbreaking, but it is not the end of the world. Life opens up many doors for you, so be optimistic about the next phase of your life. It’s okay to take time and think about the new opportunities or possibilities, and new relationships, but see that you are not rushing anything. Believe in yourself and understand that you can make your life better without depending on someone.
Ups and downs are a part of your life. A breakup, separation, or divorce is certainly a low point, but that is not the be-all and end-all of your personal life. Stop fighting what cannot be changed and keep moving on for a better experience. Learn how to deal with a loss, breakup, abandonment, or divorce. It is okay to ask for help in the process. You deserve a joyous life, and it is in your hands to create one for yourself.
Do you have any tips to share? Tell us about them in the comment section below.